I want to share a story with you - in hopes that it might help you on your journey.
Shortly after surgery, I was informed that I would have a drain dangling from a stitch in my leg for up to 2 weeks. Because I received intra-operative radiation, they told me it might be up to 3 weeks. At week 4 my incision was still draining significantly, so we waited another week. During this time, my surgeon's PA kept calling to check in and remind me that if I got an infection (due to the exposure of the drain tube), that they would have to bring me back into OR, open up the incision, and flush it out, only to go through the whole post surgical draining process again. Ack. Not what I wanted.
While I initially experienced fear, I knew I had to trust my body. I didn't have to believe I would get an infection. I started to meditate intensely. By that I mean, I became committed to at least an hour a day, committed to focusing on my body's healing process--not on the fear. In a way, I was unofficially meditating 24/7. I lived without fear. (it is a practice).
At week 5, I was told the radiation oncologist needed to get me into radiation ASAP. Despite continuing to have large amounts of drainage, we decided to pull it on a Friday morning. Once the drain was removed and a compression stocking pulled up over my leg, I was ordered on bed rest for the weekend. The concern was that I would have fluid buildup in my leg, and they would not be able to start me in radiation (soon enough).
Despite this, I continued to love and trust my body in meditation and throughout the day, monitoring my thoughts. I let my body know that it was in charge, that I trusted whatever it needed to do in this healing process, and that I would do my best to support that.
The following Monday afternoon, I had a scan with the radiation oncologist, to see how much fluid buildup there was so we could determine a radiation plan. To all of the doctors' surprise, I had no excess fluid in my leg. And, over the weekend, the hole where the drain tube had been, closed up.
One might think it was just timing. That could be true. I also believe it was my commitment to taking charge, to believing in my body's innate ability to heal. Trusting it to heal without the energy of fear getting in the way.
I believe what I tell my body makes a difference. I believe each cell is listening to my tone, to my emotions, and is reacting to my state of mind. I believe it is my responsibility to support my whole self. I chose not to believe in the negative news from the doctors. And this has helped in my whole healing process since.
The interesting thing is, the rest of my life has been affected. By choosing a positive mindset over a negative one (even when it is from a specialist), I have empowered my health and my life.
This is what I wish for you on your journey.